Section 2 > Exercise 4 > Yalom's story, continued
After the therapy, Yalom describes the personal growth he experience by overcoming his prejudices. Read the concluding passage from his story and answer the discussion questions.
"Fat Lady", (continued) by Irvin D. Yalom
“It’s the same with me, Betty. I’ll miss our meetings. But I’m changed as a result of knowing you –”
She had been crying, her eyes downcast, but at my words she stopped sobbing and looked toward me, expectantly.
"And, even though we won’t meet again, I’ll still retain that change.”
“What change?”
“Well, as I mentioned to you, I hadn’t had much professional experience with…er…with the problem of obesity –” I noted Betty’s eyes drop with disappointment and silently berated myself for being so impersonal.
“Well, what I mean is that I hadn’t worked before with heavy patients, and I’ve gotten a new appreciation for the problems of –” I could see from her expression that she was sinking even deeper into disappointment. “What I mean is that my attitude about obesity has changed a lot. When we started I personally didn’t feel comfortable with obese people –”In unusually feisty terms, Betty interrupted me. “Ho! ho! ho! ‘Didn’t feel comfortable’ – that’s putting it mildly. Do you know that for the first six months you hardly ever looked at me? And in a whole year and a half you’ve never – not once – touched me? Not even for a handshake!”
My heart sank. My God, she’s right! I have never touched her. I simply hadn’t realized it. And I guess I didn’t look at her very often either. I hadn’t expected her to notice!
From Love's Executioner, p. 123.
Discussion Questions
1. Review the definition of countertransference. Definition Discuss the positive and negative value of countertranference based on Yalom's experience.
2. What does Yalom's lack of self-awareness mean to you? Did someone ever point out some aspect about yourself of which you were completely unaware? How can one learn to be more self-aware?
3. Do you think you would be the same with every patient? How might you behave differently from patient to patient? |
